We all know at least one family struggling with a problematic child behavior. Often diagnosed with either hyperactivity, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder or maniac-depressive illness, or narcissistic personality disorder, these children are more and more charted as abnormal and fall under unconformity label.
Rather than questioning life and their reality situation, the parents sweep away their responsibilities, wipe their hands and leave their child in the hand of a healthcare system completely sold to pharmaceutical industries. The child will most likely end up been drugged to suppress it’s unbalanced personality.
However, the holistic health movement is gaining in popularity, so more and more parents refuse to let the system decide for the fate of their child, accept to take the bull by the horn by taking care themselves of the child, ensuring him a future. Since all illness is psychosomatic and all misfortune is spiritual, the solution often lies in a human growth process.
The loved ones will always challenge us to become a better person, whether it is coming from the partner or the children. Using the child as a scapegoat and seeing him as a black sheep is a refusal to face the unbalance within ourselves. Giving medication to the child equals to the ostrich sticking its head in the sand: a blockage. Why not simply accept the fate and use it as a motivation to grow instead. A human problem will be solved by a human solution.
The following wisdoms will help all parents, since any kid passes naturally in a predominant right brain phase at some point of its childhood. For the parents who are trying to find the good recipe to raise their undisciplined child, the list of wisdoms below may not provide you everything you need to know, because each child is different, but will definitely be a good starting point.
Before to try any attempt to fix your child, let’s make something clear. You may have to work more on yourself than on your child in that process. Also, that process can be a long one. It is a partnership involving the parents and the child. Remember, you are the child’s guide, not a dictator.
1- Be aware of the left-right brain double nature of the human psyche.
2- Your child is not your property but a trust made to you by the Universe.
3- It takes an entire society to raise a child, not just parents, so take it easy.
4- If you attracted an unbalanced right brain child in your life, you may be unbalanced as well.
5- Your extreme right-brained child will always remain predominant, so don’t expect a miracle.
6- One right brain child have a huge impact on a left brained family, so be ready if you have more than one.
7- Be the boss. Don’t let the child be the king and crush you. Don’t give up, stick with your words.
8- Spend quality time with your child to fortify the relationship and the mutual respect.
The clash of ego is inevitable and it is important to establish new roles. Make sure you have enough control over your ego. The war on control is the tipping point. That’s where the battle is the most furious. You and your child will both have to concede ground. But since you are the grown up one, you may have to make the first step. Use reverse psychology. Assess the situation and involve your child in the process as a main actor. Treat your child as a person, not as an inferior. Talk to him as you would talk to another adult. You want your child to grow up.
9- You cannot change the child, just change your attitude and the child will be transformed.
10- Rebalance yourself first and the child will balance too.
11- Practice unconditional love and total acceptance of your child.
12- Reconsider any of your beliefs, values, principles, knowledge, etc.
13 – Trust that your child will eventually balance, but be patient, it’s a lifetime process for predominant right brain humans.
The motion is hard to create at the beginning of a new mental approach, especially when old roles have prevailed for so many years. You and your child know each other for so long, therefore change will occur only bit by bit in the early stage. Eventually, as the new philosophy gain momentum and fructifies, both parties will enjoy improvement in mutual relationship and will find common grounds.
14- Do not keep blaming the child, be solution oriented and use positive reinforcement.
15- Let the child express himself, because he is proud of his difference.
16- Establish rules, task, routine and a reward program when the child lacks discipline.
17- Let the child pay the price of a bad time management and object scatter.
18- Show your child the example by your attitude, practice what you preach.
19- Prevent their auto-isolation, which enhances depression patterns. Occupy them socially.
20- Provide them a lot of activity or free time so they can enjoy themselves.
21- Your child suffer from legal addictions (video game, TV, junk food, sugar, candies)? Use small dose as reward.
22- Pay great attention to a child with recurrent crisis of hysteria, he might feel like winning his battle. On the other side, if he escapes, you have used too much strength.
Change take some time to take place, so the more you wait, more your child gets old, more it will be difficult to modify his behavior. Create a close connection with your child at an early age and maintain the relationship. Invest quantity of your time with the child, but more than anything quality. The closer you are from a child, the most seriously he will give you credibility and take your advices. Teach your child as much as you can while he’s still young and his brain is like a sponge. But teach him the right things.
23- Open the child consciousness by exposing him to a variety of cool life experiences.
24- Teach the child about personality types so he conceives his uniqueness early in life.
25- Teach the child about the left-right brain double nature of the human psyche.
This article is also available in French at the following link: http://lapuissanceducerveaudroit.com/2015/10/07/25-sagesses-pour-aider-les-parents-a-elever-un-enfant-au-cerveau-droit-excessif/